Forget tiny chihuahuas peeping out of handbags à la Paris Hilton, or Taylor Swift with her <br>
<br>
adorably grumpy looking Scottish Fold cats who <br>
<br>
have become celebrities in their own right. <br>
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When it comes to capturing my heart with a cuddly creature, it's <br>
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the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, 75, who's reinvented himself <br>
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as the internet's favourite granddad with his wholesome life with a menagerie of animals, who has won me over.<br>
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The jewel in the crown of his ever-growing brood of beasts is Schnelly <br>
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the pig, who joined the family in April last year, making the star the latest <br>
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in a long list of celebrities to realise the joys of a porky pal - along with Ariana <br>
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Grande, Miley Cyrus and the Beckhams. <br>
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I'm completely smitten with the cuteness of pet pigs.<br>
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I lose hours scrolling through Instagram, looking at pictures of furry little piglets <br>
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with pretty pink snouts.<br>
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There are 255,000 Insta posts with the hashtag #petpig and I've probably looked at all of <br>
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them. Then there's the 286,000 posts hashtagged #micropig <br>
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and I'd hazard a guess that I've seen all of those too.<br>
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So I'm rather excited to discover that there's a pig farm less than an hour from central London, where I <br>
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can find out what it's really like to have a porcine pet.<br>
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While celebrities might get away with turning <br>
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up to photoshoots, TV appearances and fancy restaurants with all <br>
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manner of furry creatures, will I get the same reception if I take a pig <br>
<br>
for a stroll down the high street?<br>
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Samantha Rea from London strolling down the <br>
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high street in Old Amersham with Astrid, a 16 month old <br>
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micro pig<br>
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The pair stopped off at The Griffin, a private <br>
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members club, bistro and bakery, for some refreshments after a trot down the high street <br>
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Samantha Rea spent time at the Kew Little Pig Farm in Amersham, Buckinghamshire to learn how <br>
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to muck out and care for pigs <br>
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Learning how to feed hay to the pigs did make Samantha question whether it's easier to stick with a <br>
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dog or cat as a pet <br>
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I'm hoping the Kew Little Pigs Farm will help me find <br>
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out. It specialises in miniature pigs, which pig lovers can buy <br>
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or 'adopt' to visit on the farm.<br>
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Then there are the day trips. The Piggy Pet & Play package lets visitors 'pet, brush, groom, watch <br>
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and play with the pigs.' The Pig Enthusiast package can include putting sun cream on the pigs, and the Comprehensive Guide to Pig Keeping teaches you everything <br>
<br>
you need to know before buying your own micro pig.<br>
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Clearly I must go there!<br>
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And so I head to Amersham, in Buckinghamshire, where <br>
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Kew Little Pigs Farm is based.<br>
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When I arrive, owner Olivia Mikhail looks slightly concerned at the sight of my Converse <br>
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trainers and cropped jeans, a combination that <br>
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will surely result in splattered shins.<br>
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However, Olivia has no idea just how prepared I actually am, because I have packed not only knee high wellies for my time on the farm, but <br>
<br>
also my designer heels, for my glimpse into what life's <br>
<br>
like as a pig-owning celebrity.<br>
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Arnold Schwarzenegger with Schnelly the pig,<br>
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who joined his menagerie of pets in April <br>
<br>
last year<br>
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Ariane Grande and Pete Davidson adopted Piggy Smallz during their <br>
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short-lived romance in 2018<br>
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Comedian John Bishop was left devastated when his rescue pig Milo passed away last year, describing <br>
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him as the 'heartbeat' of the family<br>
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Paris Hilton started the chihuahuas in handbags <br>
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craze, and is also the proud owner of Princess Piglette<br>
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George Clooney, Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus, Jonathan Ross, Charlotte Church and even the Beckhams <br>
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have all kept pigs as pets over the past decade or <br>
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so, while more recently Ariane Grande and Pete Davidson adopted Piggy Smallz during their short-lived romance. <br>
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Comedian John Bishop gave rescue pig Milo a home for <br>
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more than a decade and was devastated when the pet passed away, saying he was the 'heartbeat' of the family.<br>
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They're as much a celeb accessory as oversized sunglasses - which is <br>
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why I've brought those with me too.<br>
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But first things first. Before I spend an afternoon taking a petite pig for a stroll,<br>
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I sit down with Olivia in the Kew Little Pigs cafe, to complete the theory side of the Comprehensive Guide to Pig Keeping.<br>
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It turns out there is quite a lot of admin involved in owning a pig, alongside a rule book thicker than Harry Potter. <br>
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Who knew that you needed a license to walk a pig? Who would imagine that you can't feed pigs your kitchen leftovers?<br>
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It used to be common practice, but has been banned <br>
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because of the risk of diseases such as African swine flu and foot and mouth disease that can be spread by consuming contaminated pork products. <br>
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Who can fathom having to fill out a form to drive your pig from one place to another - <br>
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again for disease control reasons? <br>
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After all the admin and mucking out, Samantha was delighted to move on to the fun part - cuddles with Astrid <br>
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Samantha found that mucking out the pig pen was actually a lot more <br>
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civilised than picking up poo on a dog walk <br>
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Samantha came armed with wellies for her day at the farm, but made sure to keep <br>
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it glamorous <br>
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After swapping her flimsy trainers for wellies, Samantha felt equipped <br>
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to tackle her day on the farm <br>
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And who would guess that pigs have to have their own house?<br>
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I mean, it's only got to be about the size of shed, but it's actually a law to uphold welfare standards.<br>
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I suppose none of this is an issue for celebrities who have people to do paperwork for them <br>
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- not to mention acres of space - but to me it <br>
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seems insurmountable.<br>
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Olivia senses that my dreams are crushed and attempts to reassure me:<br>
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'It's really not that much paperwork. Look, filling in this form would take <br>
<br>
two minutes.' <br>
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Moving on from the theory, we head outside for <br>
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the practical part of the course. Here, in large pens, are lots of little pigs which are super cute, so this makes me happy.<br>
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I am given a rake to claw the pig poo into a dustpan. Both the rake and the <br>
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dustpan have long handles and I like the distance this creates.<br>
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It is certainly more civilised than picking up poo in a flimsy plastic bag on a dog walk. <br>
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Clearing away pig excrement with proper equipment which allows you to maintain a civilised, and sanitary, distance makes me wonder if - despite the paperwork - pigs might just trump <br>
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dogs.<br>
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Samantha was worried she might attract stares walking Astrid through town, but nobody batted an eyelid <br>
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Samantha treated herself to a hot chocolate while Astrid enjoyed some pig treats <br>
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Samantha swapped her wellington boots for high heels to glam up to take her pet pig down to the town centre <br>
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for lunch<br>
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Taking a pig out for a walk is trickier than it looks, and a lot of treats are required to keep things on track <br>
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Next, Olivia asks if I would like to feed the pigs.<br>
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Yes of course! She hands me some hay that's stuffed inside what's basically a large fishnet <br>
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stocking, the size of Santa's sack. The hay sticks out <br>
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of all the holes, and it's my job to hang up the sack in the pig pen, so the <br>
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pigs can eat from it.<br>
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This sounds easy. Only it's not. 'NOT THERE! NO!<br>
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IT'S GOT TO BE HIGHER! TIE IT ROUND THE POST! NO! NOT LIKE THAT!<br>
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NO!'<br>
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I feel like a failing contestant on The Crystal Maze, only this <br>
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is worse because I'm now surrounded by hungry <br>
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pigs and I cannot see a panic button.<br>
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I swear there was something on Netflix where murdered bodies were dumped in a pig pen, to be eaten by the pigs.<br>
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Or maybe the bodies were eaten alive. This definitely happens all the time, according <br>
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to TV, and now I don't even know which is worse, the prospect of being felled <br>
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by pigs eating through my ankles, or the pressure to hang <br>
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the hay correctly.<br>
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It is like my challenge on The Crystal Maze has been especially devised to amuse the inhabitants of hell.<br>
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I find myself grateful to make it out of the pig pen alive.<br>
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Surely I get to do celebrity stuff now?<br>
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Celebrities' pigs are as stylish as their <br>
<br>
owners, so I've sourced designer outfits for my trottered chums.<br>
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I'd initially looked at diamond chokers by Dior, <br>
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because what pig wouldn't want a diamond collar?<br>
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But apparently pigs are happier in harnesses, which fit around the <br>
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body, not just the neck.<br>
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I hunt for a harness that an A-lister might pick for their pig, and <br>
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I am delighted to discover a pink leopard print harness with a matching lead. <br>
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It is by Urban Pup, a pet fashion brand whose website I've now spent more time on than all the <br>
<br>
other websites in my search history.<br>
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There's the zebra print, the cheetah print, the pink <br>
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argyle; the florals, the tartans, and the hearts. There's the range inspired by Legally Blonde <br>
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and the pet carrier that resembles a pink Chanel handbag.<br>
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Then there are the socks…<br>
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I turn up at the farm with more outfits for the pigs than I have for myself.<br>
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I guess this is what it's like being a pig parent:<br>
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#SELFLESS<br>
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I am introduced to Astrid, a 16 month old micro piglet who'll fulfill my dreams of walking a pig.<br>
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I show Olivia all the outfits I've brought from Urban Pup and she picks out a <br>
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pink tartan harness with a matching lead.<br>
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I want to dress up all the pigs but Olivia says no.<br>
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That's OK. There is probably some law about only one pig at <br>
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a time looking this stunning.<br>
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When Astrid and I are dressed, we head into Old Amersham.<br>
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It's a pretty market town in the Chilterns with cobbled streets and quaint white buildings with beams.<br>
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So how will locals feel about a pig on a lead?<br>
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I imagine I may be sternly spoken to by a member of the Women's Institute.<br>
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However, it turns out that Old Amersham is perfectly au fait with <br>
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celebrity antics, given that Poirot, Midsomer Murders and Four Weddings and a Funeral <br>
<br>
have all been filmed there.<br>
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On my pig keeping course I have learnt that pigs never poo where they eat, sleep or socialise, because they're very clean, so from day one, without <br>
<br>
any training, a pig will go outside to poo.<br>
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I am surprised then, as I arrive in Old Amersham, to find that Astrid has done her business in her carry <br>
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box. I try not to think about this, as I hold her lead.<br>
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Our first stop is the Amersham Museum. I'm not a massive fan of walking around looking at things, but I hear the <br>
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museum homes a Tudor dining table that visitors are welcome to sit at.<br>
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It is about lunchtime, so I'm hopeful I'll be served a Tudor banquet.<br>
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I quite fancy a tankard of wine and a bit of wild boar.<br>
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Unfortunately, Astrid does not, and so, despite being welcomed by museum <br>
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director Briony, we leave pretty much as soon as <br>
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we arrive.<br>
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We go for a stroll instead, but I have to scatter pig food pellets to coax Astrid along the <br>
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pavement. I guess celebrities get their assistants to walk ahead, trailing treats to entice <br>
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the pet pigs in the right direction. <br>
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Hard at work: Writer Samantha Rea tried the Comprehensive Guide to Pig Keeping, which teaches you everything you need to know before buying <br>
<br>
your own micro pig<br>
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However, doing it without an assistant, I find myself thinking that it's definitely easier <br>
<br>
to walk a dog.<br>
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Celebrity life is about lounging in luxurious surroundings, so Astrid and I head <br>
<br>
to The Griffin, a private members club, bistro and bakery, that's pretty much the Soho House of Amersham.<br>
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In the beamed building that dates back to the 17th century, there are gorgeous <br>
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leather sofas and cosy cushions. However, I have learnt on my pig keeping course that pigs are happiest alfresco, so Astrid <br>
<br>
and I take a seat on the astro-turf terrace, beneath <br>
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a pretty parasol that wouldn't be out of place in a Cotswolds shoot for Tatler.<br>
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It is here, as we relax like A-listers, that Astrid and I are <br>
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at our happiest. As I sip a coffee and eye-up a chocolate brownie (I'm being a celebrity, remember, I don't actually eat these things), Astrid puts her trotters <br>
<br>
up on the seat beside me and enjoys a few pig food pellets.<br>
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Clearly this is our natural environment, so it's probably just a matter of time before Astrid is <br>
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snapped up by a celebrity to live life first class. <br>
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But for now, Astrid must mooch back to the mud, and I must head home to wash <br>
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pig poo off my wellies.<br>
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I am chuffed to bits to have spent an afternoon with Astrid, but <br>
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as I think it all over, on the train back to Marylebone,<br>
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I know that I'll never keep a pig as a pet. <br>
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Aside from all the legal red tape, my lack of space in London, and the trickiness of trying to take a pig for a walk, there's always the fear that the micro pig might turn out to be <br>
<br>
not so tiny after all. <br>
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I've seen headlines about 4 ounce "teacup" pigs <br>
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growing bigger than a bear, and frankly I find it terrifying.<br>
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So I'll leave the pet pigs to the celebrities. <br>
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LondonParis Hilton<br>
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